This topic is something I wanted to talk about, anyone that knows me personally will know I am a confident human but it defo wasn’t always like this. For many years I went through extreme body anxiety and my appearance was bringing me down, I do still get these days a lot but I have found ways to manage this and I wanted to share them. It kind of started whilst at school and looking completely different to others, I felt insecure because of my exotic background and was picked on ( I got the last laugh though). After secondary school I became obsessed with my weight having been like a yo-yo throughout my teen years. A few years ago I experienced a toxic relationship which became the worst part and triggered even more self-esteem issues as I was constantly having to compete with the needs of an extreme womanizer. This last year being in America has really changed my perspective on things, leading to a slow increase in confidence but nonetheless major progress . . .
- Don’t compare yourself. I know this is easier said than done but comparisons are what triggers everyone to feel inadequate. Those people you see looking flawless online? They probably have a photographer and the best makeup products and hair stylist to make themselves look good- anyone can look good with the right items is what I am trying to say. Don’t compare your everyday life to others as often there is so much we don’t see.
- Ditch anyone who makes you feel un-confident with your appearance. I had to break off a toxic relationship after I felt as if I was in competition with the other girls my ex was always eyeing up. I wanted to be like them and tried to look like them, then I realised it was making me lose my identity. You should not feel like you are in a competition with anyone.
- Do what you need to do, if someone tells you that you wear too much make-up then f**k ’em. Maybe you feel more confident with lashes and your nails done? Don’t let people’s remarks stop you from doing you. I used to get told all the time that I dress up too much but that is just me. Don’t be afraid to embrace your features or style.
- A feature is only a flaw once you point it out. If you constantly expose your flaws, other people may start to notice it more if that makes sense. I learnt to not speak about my insecurities as when my insecurities are secret, people can’t use them against you.
- Enhance your features. Have big eyes? Show them off with white eyeliner in the tear duct. Have awesome brows? Highlight the brow bone. Little makeup tricks like these really helped to enhance what I had rather than spending time on what I don’t have.
- It sounds kind of obvious but just taking care of my skin and body made me feel better so don’t neglect those night creams and the power of drinking water as a large part of beauty is what your body creates, in order to fuel your body you need to be putting in the right things. Things like exfoliation and moisturisers as well as keeping your hair in good condition are crucial for a more polished appearance. I have a post about little changes that make a mega impact so I will link it below: Little beauty changes that make a huge difference
- Almost everything can be fixed or altered so don’t beat yourself up about it. I say almost everything as some things require nothing but surgery but this should never be a first option ( Not hating on anyone with surgery btw ). Most of the top models we see have had some form of surgical enhacement ( trust me, working for a magazine made these things more noticeable)
- Finally, not everyone likes the same look! You don’t need to look the same as everyone to be noticed, I know people want to ” appear” like those ” bad bitch” girls on social media these days however this is not to say anything other than this is flawed. Once again, this stems from comparisons which goes to show so many issues come from comparing oneself to others. Nowadays I try to make myself the best version of myself I can be ( with the help of enhancements ) rather than feel intimidated by others.
These little realisations help me a lot when I start to feel my body and appearance anxieties creep up on me, I hope they help others realise their worth does not depend on features as features and looks can be changed easily but a beautiful soul is permanent. I am such a girly girl so I love to dress up and present myself well but these days I don’t stress if I am having an ” ugly” day because if you don’t accept yourself then who will?